Kids…. ugh…. lol…..

So it is 6:01pm, do you know where your children are? I do. Wanna know where? They are in their room fighting. This is where the ugh part comes in. Now I have four girls, ages 12,11,9,&8. I love my girls with every ounce of my being and you can ask any one I would kill you over them. Today is one of their “I’m gonna fight with my sisters till my mom pulls her hair out” days. I love them so much but AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! They are all very much individuals with their own unique personalities. Days like today their personalities clash something fierce. Lol. Other days they get along so well it scares me. Those days I swear they are plotting to take over the world. Now you may say that I am exaggerating, but just ask anyone who knows them. I can give you an example:
When my youngest two, Makenna and Marlee were little(er), I’d say 2 1/2 and about 7 months, they didn’t fight like older children would but they did fight.
We lived in a 2 story appt. I was in the process of taking laundry up stairs to the bedrooms, and the girls were playing (or so I thought) in the living room. Well I all four locks locked on the front door, two on the screen door and two on the door. I didn’t give it a second thought because there was no way that my 2 yo could unlock that door. I was wrong. I had just taken a load of clothes up when I hear Marlee scream and the screen door slam. Oh $#!@, I thought. So I run down the stairs to find my two year old had pushed my 7mo out the front door and off the porch in her walker. Long story short she was fine minus some scrapes. But that wasn’t the end. No….. For you see my girls have a vindictive streak a mile long. About a month after that incident, Marlee had learned to climb the stairs (supervised of course). She was about half way up one day when Makenna started coming down them. You could see the look in Marlee’s eyes. Makenna made it to the step Marlee was on when it happened. Marlee reached out and grabbed Makenna’s leg, and down she went. Lucky I caught her and she was fine. As I got up to get Marlee she burst out in laughter. Now you can say that she didn’t know what she was doing but I beg to differ.
I love my girls but ugh. They are such a hand full some days. They are also a hand full of joy and happiness. They are my world. My everything. But… they are quiet so I must see what they are plotting now.

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Kids…. ugh…. lol…..

So it is 6:01pm, do you know where your children are? I do. Wanna know where? They are in their room fighting. This is where the ugh part comes in. Now I have four girls, ages 12,11,9,&8. I love my girls with every ounce of my being and you can ask any one I would kill you over them. Today is one of their “I’m gonna fight with my sisters till my mom pulls her hair out” days. I love them so much but AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! They are all very much individuals with their own unique personalities. Days like today their personalities clash something fierce. Lol. Other days they get along so well it scares me. Those days I swear they are plotting to take over the world. Now you may say that I am exaggerating, but just ask anyone who knows them. I can give you an example:
When my youngest two, Makenna and Marlee were little(er), I’d say 2 1/2 and about 7 months, they didn’t fight like older children would but they did fight.
We lived in a 2 story appt. I was in the process of taking laundry up stairs to the bedrooms, and the girls were playing (or so I thought) in the living room. Well I all four locks locked on the front door, two on the screen door and two on the door. I didn’t give it a second thought because there was no way that my 2 yo could unlock that door. I was wrong. I had just taken a load of clothes up when I hear Marlee scream and the screen door slam. Oh $#!@, I thought. So I run down the stairs to find my two year old had pushed my 7mo out the front door and off the porch in her walker. Long story short she was fine minus some scrapes. But that wasn’t the end. No….. For you see my girls have a vindictive streak a mile long. About a month after that incident, Marlee had learned to climb the stairs (supervised of course). She was about half way up one day when Makenna started coming down them. You could see the look in Marlee’s eyes. Makenna made it to the step Marlee was on when it happened. Marlee reached out and grabbed Makenna’s leg, and down she went. Lucky I caught her and she was fine. As I got up to get Marlee she burst out in laughter. Now you can say that she didn’t know what she was doing but I beg to differ.
I love my girls but ugh. They are such a hand full some days. They are also a hand full of joy and happiness. They are my world. My everything. But… they are quiet so I must see what they are plotting now.

When You Least Expect It by Lynee Schell

This post comes to us from a fan/follower/friend about the loss of a family member. Lets show her some love.                                                 My fiancé and I were winding down for the night late one evening last August. To be honest we were fooling around which at 34 weeks pregnant didn’t happen as often anymore.  It was 11:30 at night, way past our bedtime, and far too late for a phone call.  So when my phone rang we stared at each other concerned. I saw my fiancé watch my heart drop into my stomach as my intestines twisted into knots. I ran to my phone but I missed the call. It was my oldest sister Judy; she has always been my main line of communication between me and my seven other siblings. My mind went first to my oldest brother Jerry.  He had just had his second liver transplant eight months prior in December. I redialed my sister back right away; she answered he voice heavy and trembling.  My heart dropped deeper into my stomach and the knots tightened.  “Who is it?” I asked. “Kathy,” she responded, “and it’s really bad Lynee’.” She was trying so hard to stay calm; she didn’t want to get me upset and made me promise over and over to keep calm for the baby because it was what my sister would want.  I knew she was buying time, she didn’t want to tell me what was going on but she knew she had too.  My sister Kathy was the second girl born into the family, she was so crafty and creative.  She had just thrown me a beautiful baby shower in June, and I regret not getting a picture with her if I only knew what I know now. My mind went instantly to a car wreck, my mind racing how bad? Is she going to make it? Will she be different? I was not prepared for what my sister Judy told me next…
My sister Kathy had told my sister Judy a few days earlier that she wasn’t feeling herself; she couldn’t explain how she felt. Judy said she described it as feeling, “off” and even made the comment that she didn’t think she would make it to her 54th birthday which was only just over a month away. Well that day, honestly I don’t even remember the date I am still numb, she drove herself to the doctor. She drove herself in her Ford 150 and backed it into a parking spot before entering the building. While at the doctor’s office she had an episode, the staff at the office believed she was having a stroke so they called an ambulance and had her rushed to the hospital.  They failed to contact her emergency contact, her husband, which drives me mad because why do we even fill out all that paper work if they aren’t going to reference it?  Because of this she spent her last conscious moments alone and confused.  When doctors at the hospital finally got a hold of her cell phone the story unfolded to first her husband, then my siblings then to me.  My sister had lung cancer which had metastasized to her brain.  She had six lesions on the brain and this is what was killing her.  She had a 10% chance, maybe, of survival.  Three days later she died.  My sister had no idea that she was sick, and we believe that was a blessing. She would have never been able to have lived with the knowledge that she was sick.
At 34 weeks pregnant I felt completely hopeless.  I didn’t take the time to say goodbye when I saw her at my baby shower because I was distracted and now I couldn’t say my final goodbyes because I wasn’t able to travel from Florida to Michigan.  I will be honest after losing my father in 2006 I am very numb to the idea of death.  My sister’s death is still just that, a thought, an idea.  I have cried for her on a few occasions but it doesn’t feel real.  I felt a little bit of that reality when I called my siblings on Christmas like I do every year and the phone wasn’t passed to her.  Even as I type this, knowing she has passed on, it just doesn’t seem real.  I am getting married this year and as a result I am unable to make it to Michigan to see my family.  I am afraid that my walls that I have up will come crashing down around me on the biggest day of my life when my family comes to celebrate with me and she isn’t there.  How do you mourn the loss of someone you didn’t see every day and lived so far from?  How is it possible when no matter what she still feels like a phone call away?  My family situation is a little different.  My father would be 82 this year if he was alive and as a result six of my siblings are much older than my youngest brother and I. I am not ready to begin losing them, yet it has begun, and I don’t know how to mourn the loss of two very important people in my life; first my father, then my sister.

Don’t Drink The Spoiled Milk!!

Yesterday I posted A Wake Up Call where I told myself and you guys that in an attempt to wake up earlier, and stay awake, I would go for a morning job. You know, get the blood flow going. Well the good news is, I am up before 12:00 p.m. the bad? I did not go for an early morning jog, and I won’t be going for an afternoon one either. Let me explain.
      The day before yesterday my husband cooked dinner for the both of us. Hamburger helper (but with deer meat) and mashed potatoes. Now I am not one who normally likes deer meat or hamburger helper, but to my suprise, it was actually pretty good. After dinner I tidied up a bit and went on to bed. The next morning, I discovered something in the fridge, something that looked different, something that my husband used to cook. In the fridge was a 2 and a half week old PAST EXPERIATION DATE (so about a month after purchase) 1/2 gallon of milk. I knew my husband had used it because of the crusty line left on the carton from where it had previously been sitting at. Long story short, I have been having some tummy troubles. I feel bloated and uncomfortable and I just have some tummy aches, so.
      Moral of the story, don’t let your significant other cook! No, no I am only joking. The true moral of the story is to throw out your spoiled milk before you end up with problems, and this can be applied to other areas besides culinary mishaps. Have I mentioned before that I am the queen of procrastination?
     Have you guys ever forgot to take out your spoiled milk? Comment your stories below! I would love to hear.
      -N-

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A message to past me..

Dear me,
I know you will go through tough Times. You will experience loss and love and hope and fear. You will be put through trials and tribulations that you can not even fathom. But through it all you will prevail. You will have your strength, both physical and emotional, tested. Don’t get discouraged though. You will have dreams that will be shattered and rebuilt and sometimes they will be shattered again. You will loose some of the most important people in your life. Some through death, some because they just weren’t meant to stay. You will be so sad some days you will just want to curl up in a hole and die. Other days you will be so happy that you could touch the sky! You will get married, don’t be to excited though, it will bring you some of the worst pain. But don’t let that stop you. Getting married will bring you four amazing blessings and will change you forever. The marriage you have will help you grow and teach you all the things you need to know for the next great blessing in your life, your wife. Treat her good. She will deserve it. Show her kindness and love and forgiveness at times.
Remeber, be good to yourself. Forgive so that you can have closure. Don’t hold grudges they only bring hate. Love because tomorrow is a gift and it is not guaranteed. Be you because you will always find someone who isn’t going to like or will judge you. But most important, keep your head high and never loose hope, because this too shall pass.

                         Love,  Me
~S~

Marriage Has Ruined My Life…

Marriage has ruined my life…

Before I got married, I was your typical teenage girl. Attitude and thought the world revolved around her. Truth be told I looked for attention. I had suffered a lot of losses, had a lot of broken relationships, with my friends, my family. Some purely out of circumstance. Some where I did wrong, others where they did wrong. A lot of miscommunication. I acted stupid and selfish throughout high school because I just wanted to be a part of someone’s life. I wanted to not feel guilty, to not feel pressured, to not feel weird. Typical teenage feelings really.
I first met my husband in the summer of 2008. He was 17, I was 16. We were both about to be juniors, but at different schools. We were introduced online by a friend of ours. We had both just gotten out of a pretty lengthy relationship neither of us really cared for, so I guess we both thought, why not? We started talking online, learning more about each other. We had similiar taste in music, and we were both in the band, so that was cool.
We had talked on the internet and the phone for about two weeks before we actually met. Ahhhh that first phone call. I had my little brother answer the phone because I was so nervous, but once I heard his voice, I melted. Not high pitched, but not deep either. Just perfect. I got even more eager to meet him after that. We finally met on July 4, 2008. Our lips never parted. We went to the lake to see the fireworks show with the girl who introduced us, her family, and her bf, who just so happened to be the hubby’s best friend. It had been storming, but the weather was actually pretty perfect. Such a breeze, such dark skies. I remember him and his friend went across the street to, well…take a leak LOL. I waited patiently for their return, leaning against the car, talking with our friend. The hubby and I hadn’t really talked much. Though we chatted on the phone or computer often, I was too shy. I watched as him and his friend walked back across the street, having a particular pride in his walk. Next thing I know he puts one hand around my waist, the other on my face, and pulls me in for a kiss. I knew in that very moment he was mine. My heart, and my fate, was sealed that night.
We had dated for about six months. Always doing something together. We were really only apart during the week, since we went to different schools and he lived in the next town over. Thank GOODNESS for cell phones! Around November however, November 6th to be exact, he told me the news that he was moving with his mom….to Wyomimg. We live in Alabama, so you could probably imagine my pain. I understood it was what was best for him, as he had been going through some personal matters at home with his aunt. But I couldn’t help myself from breaking down, getting mad, and quite frankly acting like a 2 year old. I thought we had everything. I thought we were going to be forever, and now he was moving?!?! I wasn’t even sure if I was going to be able to see him that next day (a Friday). I remember sitting throughout school, living in the blur of my own tears. I cried all day, every class. I even had a substitute in my Spanish class ask me if I was okay. I just nodded and left. I couldn’t hold my head up. I honestly didn’t want to. I knew everybody had been staring at me. I mean, it was very obvious I had cried out every tear and then some. Fortunately I was able to see him for about 3 hours that night. I went with him as he said his goodbyes. His mom ran us by Taco Bell before they took me home. Farewell Burrito?? We pulled in my driveway and I felt sick to my stomach. It was in knots. I had no idea if I was going to see him again. I almost packed my bags and hopped in their truck! But I knew better, no matter how much it hurt, I knew this was for him. He walked me to the door where we stood for just a quick second in silence. He gave me a very quick hug, handed me my food, and walked away. And that’s the last I saw of him….for a while anyways.
He was gone for a little over a year. At first we attempted to work it out, but I think we both knew it wouldn’t work. One day he just kind of stopped talking to me. I was doing okay since that Saturday when he left. Okay, who am I kidding. I was a complete wreck. I started crying out snot..I had no more tears. I didn’t eat, I didn’t talk to anyone. I threw private tantrum parties in my bedroom. I started doing things I swore I would never do, especially over some guy. I started trying to hurt myself. I got a big(ger) attitude, was stealing, smoking pot, sneaking out. I did the whole nine yards. I hated myself for it, but I figured I had nothing else to lose. It got to the point where I did things I knew he would get pissed about, and then I would rub it in his face, because that was the only time he would talk to me. Kind of a Bella Edward situation huh? We fought tooth and nail and we were miles and miles apart. At that point I hit my ultimate low.
He returned in December of 2009. We didn’t really talk unless we were cussing at each other. I was really excited that he was back though, even though I did have another boyfriend (after nearly a year of being in trouble and acting out, I finally accepted the fact he may never come back, and that he probably had some other girl). We put aside our differences though that following February. I was still seeing someone else, but I couldn’t help myself, I needed to talk to him. So I logged onto messenger and started a conversation. It was weird at first, but exciting. I felt kind of guilty about talking to my former boyfriend while I was dating someone else. But like I said, I couldn’t help myself. I was drawn to him.
A few weeks later my boyfriend told me he had cheated on me. I was upset, because I did like him. I even acted stupid for a brief time and tried to get him back. It was stupid, but I needed security, and I wasn’t sure if the love of my life was ready for that yet. But about a week later we met up. It was February 15,2010. I convinced my brother to go with me as we waited in the park. I was nervous. A familiar feeling I had the first go around. He pulled up and my heart stopped. We had seen each other a few times in public, but this night he was there… for me. It was something I couldn’t believe. We talked for a few minutes before I got a call to run some clothes up to the hospital where my niece was staying for a UTI infection, I think. Just when I thought my night was cut short, he decided to come with us. We sat in the hospital room, me..him..my brother, sister, and neice in the most akward silence, with a few spoken words here and there.
Visiting hours were over, and we went to the parking lot, where it was snowing! Big deal in Alabama. It was perfect. We stood there in silence, looking into each others eyes, and then, I recieved the most comforting hug I could have ever gotten in my life. It was the first time I had been that close in a year. Later that night we became official again. My spirits were up again, and I knew not to let him go. I was so happy. My attitude improved (slightly, I mean, I was still a teenager). I was in a bliss. We dated for a year and decided to get married on March 25th, 2011. It was just a court house wedding. Not how I imagined it, and I was not nearly the age I imagined (I was only 19) but it was perfect because it was him.
We had some tough go abouts in the years ahead. We moved several times, three states total. We hardly ever had a car. We were put in some shitty situations, and we have had some people betray us, but we always got through it. There were, and sometimes still are, times where we just couldn’t even handle each other. I felt that old pain all over again one too many times.
Marriage had ruined my life. It put me through a whirlwind of emotions. It made me mad, it made me upset, it made me happy. Marriage ruined my life because I had to grow up. I had to learn responsibility. I had to learn to care for someone other than myself. Marriage ruined my life because it derailed me from my future plans. It wasn’t just MY future anymore, it became ours.
Marriage ruined my life because it made me a better person. It taught me the importance of love. It taught me how important it was to stay strong and not give up. It taught me the importance of life.
Marriage ruined my life. It got me attatched to this one person that I can’t live without. It gave me a life partner and a best friend.
Marriage ruined my life. It turned my world upside down into something I never expected. It turned it into a fairytale I never dreamed. It turned it into something far better than I could have ever asked for. I love you. 💗

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder pt 2

Touching on my sisters post from a few days ago. I would like to add my two cents in. I have never been one for makeup or dressing up. But like my sister I believe in hygiene and in the last few years my hair has become more important to me. I have always washed my hair every other day (everyday dries out my scalp). I never really cared about what it looked like as long as it was washed. I dye it regularly because I started going grey at an early age(18). Through all the horrible shampoos and brushes and ponytails it is a wonder I have hair left. I have done a lot of reading about the no-poo movement and I decided I would give it a shot. You can find info all over the web, but I do things my own way (I’m difficult, just ask my sister). So I read enough to get the idea of it and away I went. Now most of the post I read say to strip your hair with a certain shampoo and never use conditioner so forth and so on. Well, first off if you ask anyone I know, they will tell you I’m a cheapskate so I wasn’t about to spend extra money on a shampoo I was only going to use so I decided to strip my hair of oils and chemicals my own way. Dawn, yes I said dawn, the dish soap. Let me tell you, one good time with it it will be as clean as a whistle. Next you have to go as long as you can between washes. I made it almost four days. Once you get to a point where you just can’t go any longer it’s time to wash and condition. Now when you wash you will always use the same thing, baking soda and water. The exception is what you use to condition. Since you go so long between washes you have two options for conditioners, Apple cider vinegar or a hair mask(you can find recipes on line). I use Apple cider vinegar myself. My wife is allergic to coconut and I don’t wanna smell like guacamole, so it is the best option for me. The goal is to wash and condition as little as possible and to let your hair make natural oils, so eventually you will be washing every few weeks or less. I am still in the beginning stages but I can go about a week between washes. It does take time to get used to your hair being oily, but it will be so much healthier. Try it and let us know how it works for you.

No-poo shampoo:
I use 1tbsp baking soda to 1cup water (I use warm water so the baking soda dissolves)
No-poo conditioner:
I use 2-3tbsp Apple cider vinegar to 1cup water leave on for a few min then rinse